i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Randomize