Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
