Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Randomize
