It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Randomize
