I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
