Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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