I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Terrible idea I love it
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
