someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Randomize
