his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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