i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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