It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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