I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
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