Whatcha textin bout Willis?
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
