the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Just pee around me
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
