I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
