One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
So apparently I’m into choking now
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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