What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
