maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
