Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
