sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
i think my mom watched the whole time
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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