i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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