can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
