My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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