cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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