I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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