Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize