hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
