Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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