Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
do herpes really smell.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize