Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
