There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
