Can Purell be used as lube?
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
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