My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Randomize
