At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
