Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Randomize
