i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
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