Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
