i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
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