He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
