these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Randomize