Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
