Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
she told me i tasted like america
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize
