David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize