So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
