ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Randomize
