Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
i can't believe i had my finger in that
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
