Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
