For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
