Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
