Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
