i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
ttyl tear gas
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
