i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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