You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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