I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
