I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
