I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Too much gin, very little bucket
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
