ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
i think i have two assholes
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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